UGH! Motown!? At least they're getting all my least-favorite genres out of the way. Honestly, between show choir and AI, if I never hear "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" EVER again, it will be too soon.
Ed passed out on Joel's chest on the couch before Lucy and I even got back from dance class, so we gently tossed him into his bunk and then let Lu stay up a little later to watch much of the show. As the opening sequence began, Lucy says "I'll point to the girl I love," which is no easy task when the scene is cut like a music video. After several near-misses and several buttery fingerprints on our TV screen, Lucy nailed magenta-haired Allison as her pick. Not a surprise, but she does have good taste.
Matt Giraud (Lucy: Did he say "Smacker Drive"!?!?) -- Let's Get it On
The very beginning at the piano was HOTT, though immediately following that I'm not sure Matt has the vocal range to hit those low notes. Lucy said "He did well because he listened to his teacher" -- that's my little firstborn! (A teeny note on inbreeding -- in addition to Lucy being the firstborn child of two firstborn children, two of her grandparents are also firstborns and the two grandparents who aren't technically firstborns are the second-borns-of-eleven. The chattiness factor goes back at least three generations. The girl has no chance.)
Overall, I liked it quite a bit.
Paula looks classy and beautiful tonight.
Kris Allen -- How Sweet It Is
How many times has this song title been used as a pun by a headline writer? "How Suite It Is." "How Sweet Kitt Is." "How Sweet It... Israel!" I might've made up the last one, but seriously, this song reminds me of magazines.
Has Kris always been sporting this 5:00 shadow? It's cuters on him. I mentioned that his performance was rock-solid and very enjoyable, and Joel thinks he has a really interesting sound to his voice. Lucy said "I thought he was solid" and I said "That's what I said!" and Lucy repeated, "I thought he was salad." I do not know what this means.
After Paula guesstimated that Kris's high note at the end was an A, I thought back to what I imagined the note to be, and sang it out loud. Then I ran over to my piano (just like you said I would, Jean!!) to try to find the note, and I started on A. Now, my piano is slightly out of tune but Paula was RIGHT ON. An A! Who knew Paula Abdul had perfect pitch?
Now it's possible that I remembered the note wrong, and I just happened to sing an A. In which case *I* have perfect pitch! See, everybody wins!
Scott -- You Can't Hurry Love
Ryan Seacrest: "Here's Scott!"
Lucy: "... aand he's blind." (her comedic taste might need some work, but her timing is impeccable)
Let's get the horrifying pink pants out of the way right now. Wait, I didn't mean "get them out of the way" like "take them off"!! Egads. No joke, those pants look like they were made out of the same sludge as Chicken McNuggets. Grody.
I thought he was kinda shouty. Joel started to comment, when Lucy broke in with "remember, he's blind." I'm not certain she even knows what "blind" means. Something to work on. Joel mentioned that Scott's range seemed kind of small, like he might do well with Randy Newman-style songs that are more about being charming than about blowing the roof off.
Paula's Night Of Being A Musical Savant continues as she uses the word "rubato". Unfortunately, the wheels start to come off when she crawls under the desk, displaying that the bottom half of her "classy" dress is actually a giant tutu. And then she displays ... what is this, Simon's hidden stash of Fiber Bars? Ohh, crayons. Hmm.
Megan -- For Once In My Life
Well! I think to myself, Here's a Motown song I actually like! A lot! I imagined it was going to be really fun and lovely, and I was SO WRONG. She sang sharp, she oversang it, she sang it so fast I couldn't even hear her signature tone. A giant bummer. Lucy: "She hit the rock for me." Joel and Me: "Huh?" We think she meant it as a compliment.
Anoop -- Ooh Baby Baby
Even Smokey Robinson admitted that this is not actually a song. Hey Anoop! THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A SONG. The sound coming out of his mouth was pretty great, but you are supposed to sing A SONG on this show.
Mike -- Ain't Too Proud To Beg
I actually thought this was surprisingly competent. But that's all -- there was nothing super-exciting about it. Joel wanted Michael to mix up the chorus the 3rd time, but I can't even get that specific... I just thought it was fine, but blah. Which is just what the judges said -- not good enough this year.
Lil Rounds -- Heat Wave
I ADORE her dress and must have one immediately. But she was yelling the song, and I grew bored.
Adam -- The Tracks of My Tears
This song mentions clowns, and therefore I hate it. And yet Adam is an amazing performer and once again he gets my top vote. Joel mentioned that Adam is a chameleon, but that shouldn't surprise anyone who's read my opinions before. Like Bo Bice and Constantine before him, Adam is an actor who can be Mick Jagger one day and Young Hot Elvis the next. I have no idea what that means for Adam from a marketing standpoint -- musical theatre geeks like myself will find him fascinating and it will be easy to cast him in the next Broadway revival of West Side Story, and everyone else will probably just be baffled yet AMAZED at his New Look!
But I want to mention that the song needed to resolve on "you" and not on "need." I waited for that "you" for a good eight seconds until I realized it was never coming. I'm guessing I'm not the first girl Adam has left waiting, sorta confused. To paraphrase Neil Patrick Harris's recent SNL monologue, "I'm like 'What, is he allergic to timing?' and my girlfriend is, like, 'Why won't you kiss me?' and I'm, like, 'Later, I mean, LOOK at this guy!'"
Smokey Robinson dresses real hip for, like, a 75-year-old dude?
Danny -- Get Ready
Joel thought it was amateurish. I actually really enjoyed it, but maybe in the same way that I enjoyed Michael Sarver's performance -- it was good but not really good enough.
Allison -- Papa Was a Rolling Stone
I actually used to think this song was about Mick Jagger. Until tonight, actually. Allison sang the heck out of this thing and I have to go finish cutting Joel's hair so now my rankings...
Middle of Pack
These Guys Can Start Going Home In Any Order: