My online journal.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Rush for a change of atmosphere

So usually when I overschedule myself and get committed and involved in too many things, I don't realize it until I'm in the thick of it, and it's too late to rework my plan, or rethink things, or whatever.

But I'm starting to get worked up about the rest of my summer... and it hasn't hardly even started yet.

I agreed to be a counselor for this kids' (age 6-18) theatre camp through Ashland Productions, and while I am sure it will be super fun and exciting and great experience... it's a "day job" (9-4) for three full weeks, plus a large time commitment for the three following weekends. So:

A. I'm more than a little nervous about planning the lessons for these kids; such a wide variety of ages and such a large number, and need I remind you I was never an education major? And I haven't taught any sort of kids in a while? And I certainly haven't taught jazz/Broadway-style dance in a while? I'm just having a hard time wrapping my mind around all I have to do to prepare...

and B. I'm freaking out about what, exactly, my kids are going to do for these three weeks. My folks are taking them the first week but I just haven't arranged for the remaining two weeks yet and, well, I'm just getting very nervous.

So on top of this I taught my first 20-minute "preschool" dance class this morning, to Lucy and Josie. I wanted to start VERY small, with just Lu and one other kid, to try to get my format/planning down and try to remember where my weak spots are. I remembered my weak spots pretty quickly (ex: I know I need to KNOW the dances down pat) and it actually went pretty well. Lu and Jo both showed *some* interest, which is actually decent for 2-y-os. We'll tweak it a bit each week and I think it will be good.

Oh and I was supposed to pack this morning to go to the lake this evening. And I have not.

And I've just been having bizarre dreams that keep creeping into my thoughts all day. Like, I dreamt I was in a plane crash. And I dreamt I was on a plane without any sides (like, all the passengers had to hang on to a central pole to keep from being flung from the plane) -- I guess they were sort of the same dream, sort of. And I remember desperately trying to scribble a note to my kids before the plane went down, but all I could find was a pencil and I really wanted a pen... and then I dreamed that I got the letter telling me whether I got into nursing school, except it was so cryptic I couldn't even read it so I couldn't tell whether or not I got in. I know, I know, who cares? But throughout my days I have little flashbacks to these dreams, and I'm feeling kind of haunted.

And I've been having all sorts of food issues -- like I am always hungry, and nothing I eat seems to satisfy me, and usually a good bowl of sugary cereal has been my failsafe tide-me-over snack, but maybe they changed the formula for Cocoa Krispies because I seriously eat a giant bowl and it does nothing for me; in fact, I'm almost hungrier than when I started! Argh!

Oh, and Lu has wet her bed the last 2 nights. Drat. And she's suddenly become very self-conscious of her usual singing and perform-ey things; she won't read the pigeon book anymore, and if we catch her singing aloud she stops right away, or immediately switches into singing gibberish.

Ed's adorable, but kind of clingy/sad; maybe getting more teeth. The other day we went to the Dari-ette after dinner, and Joel was feeding Ed bites of his strawberry shake. Before every bite, Ed would say "peeeeeese!" and then after every bite: "ake-you". Very polite.

Lucy's getting kind of destructive. This morning while I was showering, she dumped out every single huge Rubbermaid container of toys, tipped over every toy that stands up on its own (including her "kitchen" and all her chairs), tipped over the lamp in Ed's room, and basically made a gigantic mess. Grr. But then she goes and does something adorable... apparently last night right after bedtime there was a loud firecracker down the street and Joel went to check the kids quick and Lucy was standing right by her door:
"Did you hear that, Daddy?"
"Yes, it was loud!"
"You check on Eddie?"
Joel will edit the conversation later, I'm sure -- I don't remember the rest, but he said it was very sweet.

Oh! Oh! OK one more Lucy story: we had the Watsons over here on Tuesday to play, and all the kids were running around "nay-kay" in the yard. Lucy went inside to tinkle, as she does, and returned. Well, then the boys wanted to tinkle too, so Nicole had them stand by the tree in our yard. Not to be outdone, naked Lucy marched right up next to the naked boys, grabbed the tree, and took a poop right there in the grass.

It was definitely one of those gotta-laugh-or-I'll-cry moments. I was watching her do it, and at first I thought she had a pine cone or a rock stuck between her bee-cheeks.... but no. A poop. Great googly moogly.

Oh, and this is sort of somrthing that goes along with the very first point of this post: I totally forgot to take Ed to his 15-month checkup this morning. Like, it was on the calendar... I knew about it... the office called to confirm it... I just didn't remember to go. I took it really hard, cried a bit -- I hate being that guy! I rescheduled for Monday but it drives me crazy that I could forget that. Add this to the fact that I was making dinner last night and honestly could not think of what day of the week it was. It could have been Monday, I was pretty sure it wasn't Friday... or was it? I think I am losing my mind. *shaking head*

Hey, I'm pretty sure my friend Mandy had her baby girl yesterday... she was having a scheduled C. Hoping everything went well for them.


Jean said...

Hey! You re-did the right half of your blog! And alphabetized the links!

Lisa Anderson said...

Hang in there, Meg!

It sounds like you have a lot going on. You always did seem like a real super-mom trying to tackle so much.

You always give me hope, especially when I feel so trapped by parenthood that I can't ever do the things I want. Then I look at you and all that you still do even with kids - like dance, drama, running a 10-mile, book club, getting away now and then, and now camp, etc. You make it look easy!

So hang in there - you are an inspiration!