My online journal.

Monday, February 05, 2007

I can't actually feel my toes... is that a problem?

I peeked out at our thermometer in the backyard this morning around 7:45 and I said, hey Joel! Looks like it's up to 20 degrees! Thank goodness!

No, you dummy, he replied, that says twenty below. And gosh danged if he wasn't right.

So... it's chilly here. How chilly? You may ask.

Whatever diesel gas mix they use in school buses is actually freezing.

Paint is chipping off the window frames in Ed's room.

There is snow buildup inside many of our windows on the north side of our house.

Every once in a while I hear a loud "pop" come from somewhere... like the roof or an exterior wall... like the stucco or something is cracking? Ick.

Our garage door opener has gone into hibernation. It now takes a party of at least two to open our garage door... one inside, madly pushing the button; the other kicking and/or pushing against the door trying to force it up.

Wait, there was a point to this... what was it? OH! Some clarity.

I was at a party this weekend (one of three, all of which were very much fun if a bit overwhelming; Sunday morning when Lucy woke up I asked if she knew what we were doing today and she said "Another party?!?") with both kids climbing/hanging on me, and I realized... I didn't mind.

This was sort of an unusual (that word has three u's. That's a lot!) feeling for me, and I was trying to figure out why. Most parties in recent history, I've been super annoyed that the kids were hanging/clinging and I just wanted them to run/crawl off and play on their own. So there I was, happy to be serving as a human jungle-gym.

Here's my only theory: I have grown to accept them as part of my life, and not just a distraction from my life. Is that terrible? I'm sure most mothers pick that up sooner than I did, but it's a great feeling. Joel's Aunt Denise (who comments here sometimes) sent me a wonderful message when I quit my job back in October about how God showed her that her kids should be her first priority, and never simply an "interruption." And I think I'm beginning to feel that way, too. Which isn't to say that I don't certainly need my Meggo time. I think maybe I'm just finding out how to embrace motherhood.

Speaking of embracing, Ed just turned on his fish-music in his crib which means naptime is over and cuddle-time must begin. Now I get to find a warm spot in the sun to hang with Ed until the Princess of the World wakes up.

Thanks to Julie, Carol, Trish, Kevin, and Dave and Dana for hosting your respective parties over the weekend! We had such a great time. Thanks to Peg and John for driving all the way up from MKE to visit as well! Warm, warm, warm hugs to everyone.


Alison Strobel Morrow said...

Oh girlfriend, I don't think you were slow to pick that up...I think that there are certain people for whom children are the end-all, be-all, and it's as though they're finally complete once they have them. And then there's the rest of us, who have cool lives going and then one day think, "Hey, kids would be fun!" and then have them and realize that, while sometimes fun, they're also a crapload of work, and that cool life you had going beforehand is going on without you most of the time because you're too exhausted and preoccupied to pay it any attention. (HELLO run-on sentence.) I am not yet at that place of accepting kids as being a part of my life, at least not all the time. There are flashes of acceptance, and I really, really love those times, because then I don't feel guilty about all the other time I spend reminiscing in my head about what it was like to sit on the couch for three solid hours and read or write. Congratulations for getting there; hopefully I'll be there with you soon....


Anonymous said...

Come on Lucy is that the look you want everybody to see?? That girl does have some attitude I tells ya..

Fat Daddy JG