In which I attempt to burn down my house and kill my entire family in their beds
Replacement breast pump parts: $30
Replacement baby bottles: $13
Replacement favorite nonstick 8-quart soup pan: Who even knows; it was part of a set.
One call to Poison Control: Free, actually, it's a toll-free number.
Waking up to the smell of noxious fumes and thinking "why does my bedroom smell like noxious fumes?" and going back to sleep for a couple hours: Priceless!
Need I continue, or are you getting the gist? I got home from softball last night at 10:45 and thought it would be a good idea to sterilize my pump parts, plus some of Ed's bottles, while I showered. Only, I forgot to turn off the stove, and went to bed.