...In Which Katie's Is On The Way Home From Roseville
OR
The Storm Created A Vortex And Realigned the Highways!
It was Joel’s birthday yesterday, and he had softball, so he was on his way before I even got home with Lucy after work. Around 7:00 Jean, Ellen and I were TRYING to watch “So You Think You Can Dance” and the storm warnings started.
So Joel calls at like 8:00. “We made it! We’re safe!”
Well, thank goodness, I think, that you managed to figure out you shouldn’t be on a softball field when there’s tennis-ball-sized hail and 75-mph winds coming your way. But what I say is:
“I’m glad you called. Where ARE you?”
“Katie’s.”
Let me pause here for a moment. Katie’s is a bar the guys ALWAYS go to after softball. Don’t let Joel remind you of the ONE TIME they didn’t go (which I have to say I do not have even the sketchiest memory of… it might have been the time the bone popped through Jon’s leg-skin and they had to take him to the hospital)… as a rule, they are at Katie’s every week after the game. Now, to fully understand the hilarity of the guys’ ending up at Katie’s last night, you’ll need a little visual aid. Take your left hand and hold it where you can see it. Look at the BACK of your left hand (so your thumb is pointing right). Make a jazz hand – not a wimpy dead-fish hand, really stretch those fingers out. Got it? OK.
The middle knuckle on your thumb – that’s our house.
The knuckle where your middle finger attaches to your hand – that’s the softball field.
The very tip of your middle finger – that’s Katie’s.
The STORM, all lightning and tornadoes and 75-mph winds and tennis-ball-sized hail of it, is coming from the northwest (i.e. just off the tip of your pinky finger).
Well, I think the visual aid speaks for itself. Essentially, Joel and Pat (who lives 2 blocks from us) RAN FOR THEIR LIVES five miles DIRECTLY INTO THE STORM. Gee, it’s a good thing Katie’s was there to save their hides. Hilarious. I won't even mention the tip I got from an insider that said there was a tree down, blocking their route to Katie's, so they had to take an even more circuitous route. Ooops, I just did.
I'm rolling my eyes so enthusiastically, I almost lost a contact lens.
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3 comments:
Happy Birthday Joel!
You gotta love guys and their thinking....beer...mmmm....must travel through rain, sleet, snow, hail....beer is calling....
Thank you very much! My sentiments exactly. The sirens are blowing, the trees are whipping, the rain is pounding, the hail is falling... Pat calls to say they made it to the first safe place they could... Katie's!! Give me a break. Josie and I could have ended up in Oz- but thank goodness they made sure the beer at Katie's was still cold. :)
Do you like how NEITHER ONE OF THEM had their cell phones, either? Joel's like "well, I didn't know the storm was coming!" which makes sense, you know, because I only bring MY cell phone when I know ahead of time I'm going to have an emergency.
Did'ja get the sarcasm? Because I'm layin' it on pretty thick.
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