So I got the latest issue of BabyTalk magazine in the mail yesterday, and they had an article called "103 Things Not To Feel Guilty About."
Once again, we are bombarded with this culture of entitlement. Maybe we wouldn't be going down the tubes as a society if people weren't encouraged NOT to feel guilty about ANYTHING. Maybe a little dose of guilt keeps us in line.
Some of the "things" mentioned in the article:
#31. Choosing to bottle-feed.
I REALIZE that I am a Nursing Nazi. But I think a little bit of guilt is in order for mothers who do not give breastfeeding their very best shot. Could you have tried harder to make it work? Could you have toughed it out and made it work? I don't think formula-feeders are bad parents, and I know sometimes it's necessary... but I know if I quit breastfeeding today, I would feel guilty. And I think that's all right.
#42. Using a video to keep your baby entertained... so you can shower or eat a little lunch.
Now, I'm ALL about getting some "me" time, even though I spend all day at work. But I feel like I SHOULD have some guilt about that. Today it's one Disney video -- tomorrow, could an hour of CSI: Miami really hurt? See, it's a slippery slope.
I mean, what's next? Don't feel guilty about not using the car seat every single time you drive with your kid? Don't feel guilty about shaking your baby that one time you were REALLY mad? Don't feel guilty about drinking and driving just once or twice? Alls I'm saying is, a little guilt is not a waste of time. It makes us reflect on our actions and keeps us in check, so that we know better or try harder next time. So the next time we have an opportunity to choose one course of action or another, we choose the one that's better for our baby, better for our neighbors, better for society as a whole.
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2 comments:
PREACH IT, SISTER! I think you're absolutely right: our society is obsessed with justifying itself and feeling good about itself, regardless of what decisions it makes. And while some people go overboard on the guilt and feel bad about things they honestly shouldn't feel guilty about, like not letting people walk all over them and take advantage of them for fear they might tick someone off when they stand up for themselves, our reaction of guilt serves as a warning that we need to think hard about what we're doing and possibly make a new choice.
Everybody wants to be able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and for some reason they don't think anyone else should have a say in the matter, even if it involves them. Hence the reason, I think, that there are so many divorces. People aren't willing to sacrifice or put their spouce first, beacuse that means they're "denying" themselves or "undervaluing" themselves. WHAT-the-freaking-EVER. I put Dan before myself 99% of the time, and I can say that honestly. That 1% of the time is typically when he says, "Honey, you need to go do something for yourself." But the thing is, he puts me before himself 99% of the time, and that 1% is when I say, "Sweetie, why don't you go treat yourself?" And because he takes care of me and I take care of him, our sacrificing for each other and putting each other first leads to us both getting what we need. The justification of chronic selfishness is going to be our biggest downfall.
I TOTALLY agree with you. I've seen too much evidence of parents putting everything before their children, having their children turn into total "problem children", and then the parents can actually sit there and justify why their actions, selfish as they may be, were necessary for the well-being of everyone. WHATEVER!
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