Would you rather be a mule... or a starving French child?

Have I told you guys about Flight of the Conchords yet? You need to go to YouTube and watch some of their stuff. Particularly "Jenny" and "Business Time."

Lucy and Ed have been running around the house singing in their little falsettos (falsetti?): "It's business TIME!" Hilarious.

This afternoon while the boyz were napside, Lucy was watching this dreadful VHS tape of some 1930's-era "Little Lulu" cartoons. One of the songs was "Swingin' On A Star," which I remember as a lighthearted chantey from my youth. However, in today's make-kids-feel-good-about-themselves culture, the lyrics are quite disturbing. You just don't hear lyrics like these from Barney or Laurie Berkner:

Would you rather be a mule? ...

He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He ain't got no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude

Well! Take THAT, Mr. Sun, Mr. Golden Sun and The More We Get Together, The Happier We'll Be. Time for some good, old-fashioned name-calling.

Lucy tired of the video (it's in black-and-white) and asked if we could listen to some music. Sure! I said, and she chose Les Miserables. She asked the name of the girl on the front and I told her "Cosette, or maybe Eponine, I never did know for sure" and she asked why her hair was so many colors and I explained about the French flag and she asked what happened to her dress and I told her it was kind of torn because she was very poor and couldn't get a new one.

So we turned the music on and she asked about the men singing.

"What are they singing about?"

"Being in jail."

"Why are they in jail?"

"All sorts of reasons."

"Are they bad?"

"Oh no! Not all of them! This one guy singing now, his name is Jean Valjean. He is in jail because his sister's child was starving..."

"Why was he starving?"

"Because they were too poor to buy food. So Jean Valjean broke a window to get into a house and steal some bread for his family."

"Well he should have gone to the door."

"YES! You're right. Maybe if he had gone to the door and asked, they just would have given him some bread. MAYBE if someone came to our door and was starving, we could give them some of our food because we have so much. We are very lucky to have plenty of food all the time."

"Why did he steal the bread?"

"Because his family was so hungry and he had to feed them but they didn't have any money to buy food. See, he's not really a bad man. This is a very difficult, gray moral area that is the crux of the whole show."

"NOW why is he singing?"

"Well, after he got out of jail Jean Valjean went to stay with a priest. And he stole the priest's silver because Valjean didn't have any money. But then he realized that, even though he spent so many years in jail, he didn't HAVE to keep stealing and leading a life of crime; he could make a better choice and become an honest person. And he spends the rest of the show being a VERY good person."

"What are THESE people singing about?"

"Uh, about being poor, actually."

"Who's that lady?"

"That's Fantine. She's singing because she's very sick and she misses her little girl, who may or may not be this miserable little girl with the French flag in her hair. In fact, a little later, Fantine dies and Jean Valjean is such a good person now that he takes care of her little daughter."

"Is the lady going to die?"

"Yes, she's so sick she's going to die in just a couple minutes here. Right at the end of this song."

"Now?"

"No, not yet, in another minute or so."

"Now?"

"No, a few more lines."

"Is she dead right now?"

"Well, this is a show, so she dies every single night. In the show. It's fiction; it's a show. She is not a real person."

"Did she die yet?"

"Listen, when she sings '... and tell Cosette I love her and I'll see her when I waaaaake' then she dies RIGHT after that."

"Is she singing that yet?"

"Soon. Listen."

"Is she dead now?"

"Ummmmm.... NOW. Right now. Listen."

"Can we turn it off now?"

"Oh yes. What's this you have next: West Side Story? Ohhh boy."

I made a raspberry vinaigrette dressing today and it was not a huge success. Not terrible but just not what I was going for.

I blended some frozen raspberries in the blender along with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a bit of honey. It didn't come out clear like I kind of thought it would -- it looked real milky. It tasted OK but I bet it would need a LOT more honey to come out like the bottled stuff does. I also think maybe blending it was a mistake -- adding more air in than was necessary and breaking up the oil too much. I saw a recipe that just used raspberry jam instead of actual raspberries. I dunno... I was trying to avoid the corn syrup.

My kingdom for a title

Hey, I know I owe you several days of meals. Coming attractions:

- teriyaki salmon (don't get too excited, I bought it that way)

- bizarro mexican slop

- greyish chicken and rice (I know, could it get any worse?)

- jessica seinfeld's egg puffs (these are super fun and yummy!)

I just ate 80 fat grams' worth of FunkyChunky popcorn -- it's caramel corn drizzled with nuts, chocolate, white chocolate, caramel, butter, and sugar. It was totally worth it.

Did I ever give you my mom's recipe for Seriously Tasty and Also Exceptionally Healthy Oatmeal? Here goes:

Toss into a cereal bowl:

1/2 cup quick (not instant, not old-fashioned) oats

3 whole dates, chopped

small handful of golden raisins

small handful of chopped walnuts

3/4 cup boiling water

Stir and allow to sit a minute or two. Add milk if you want. Stir again and devour. I swear this tastes JUST as good as regular ol' oatmeal-with-brown-sugar ... but there's no sugar added at all!

Joy my joy

Convos with Lucy:

Lu (pointing to a vent near the floor in the dining room): "Is there AIR coming from that SQUARE!??!"

Me: "Yes."

Lu: "It's making me CHILLY."

And, later:

Lu: "Mommy did you take a nap?"

Me: "Well, I couldn't really sleep but I did get to rest my eyes for a bit. It was, like, half of a nap."

Lu: "Why did you take a half nap? You should stay awake and joy my joy!"

Ed is super funny, too, but I can't seem to capture his essence here. So much of his humor is in his tone or his facial expressions. You're not getting video anytime soon, though, so you'll just have to trust me that he is also hilarious. I did catch him holding a toddler-sized basketball and chanting "Head-a, head-a game!" So there's something.

Ed asked for a song about a "hungry bear" for his bedtime song tonight, because apparently "Christmas Comes To Town" (from The Polar Express, Ed's current obsession) is passe, and "Mister Aladdin Sir" is totally last week's news.

The best I could come up with was "Running Bear (Loved Little White Dove)" -- an old (I assume) 1950s tune that my dad used to sing to us as kids. When my dad would sing the song to us, the lyrics always struck me as truly tragic. I remember being really moved, as a child, that the two young lovers chose to die together rather than live apart with their feuding families. In my mind it was kind of on a parallel with "Puff, the Magic Dragon" and "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" and "Teen Angel" on the list of all-time tear-jerkers. On the other hand, the original recording makes the song much more of a dance tune. Just another example of cognitive dissonance associated with early memories.

Frustermated

So, I kinda feel stymied at every turn.

I tried to call Lucy's dentist to make her an appointment... and they were closed. At 4:00. On a Thursday.

I'm trying to put videos on my computer and it looks like I can't find the right port on my camcorder to plug into the USB port on my computer.

Also I don't have the manual -- long story.

I go to sony.com to see if I can find a manual online, but just then this rain/snow/hailstorm hits, so of course my internet access goes on the fritz.

I call Sony to see if they can send me a manual, and I get the Parts department and they tell me I need Customer Service. Which turns out to be THE SAME NUMBER I just dialed. But I dial it again and get another human, at least, and they tell me I need to wait until my internets come back to look up the manual online.

But, they also inform me, I need to buy a cradle/dock/base thing for my camcorder in order to hook it up to my computer. Or, they say, maybe it was supposed to come with it when I bought it. Maybe. They ask me to call Parts again, which I do.

I get another human at Parts, thank goodness, and they tell me that my camcorder doesn't work with any sort of cradle/dock/base, that Customer Service person was an idiot, but what I do need is a cord that will plug into my computer and also into my camcorder.

Well, I have one of those, I said, except I can't figure out how to plug it into the camcorder. I can, I assure them, get the other end into the USB port of my computer.

Ohh, they say, well, you probably have the wrong cord (for the same reason I do not have a manual, which is: when I bought the "floor model" at Target, they gave me the packet-of-papers-and-accessories that was labeled as going with my camcorder but which, in actuality, belong to a different model of camcorder). You can order the right cord from us, they say, for $14.

But (I protest), since that other Sony employee I talked to was an Idiot, and I'm quoting you, here, Parts person, how can I even be sure this $14 cord you're going to sell me is even going to work? No offense, Parts person, but I am the opposite of reassured by this series of phone calls. Thanks for your help.

So I've been looking online and I *think* this alleged new cord will work, as long as my computer has a FireWire port. Hooray, right? Should be easy to figure out whether or not my computer has a FireWire port... right? Right?? RIGHT???

*cue crickets chirping*


I think I'm going to go back to Target and see, at least, if they can find my correct "packet-o-junk".

The more I'm looking at it, it looks like a FireWire cable with two 4-pin sides MIGHT actually work (if I owned it, that is, which I do not). There seem to be identical 4-pin-lookin' ports on both my computer and on the camcorder.

Uh, but if any of you are hanging on to any knowledge of this sort of thing... feel free to pass it along my way. I am really helpless here.

I know there are people with real problems.

It's a truly miserable November day here today. Oh, what's that, you say it's April? Well it feels like November. 39 degrees and dropping, rainsy and windsy. Yecch.

Jean and I ran about 27 minutes around my neighborhood last night, and it totally didn't kill me! Well I thought the first 1/2 mile uphill was going to, but then it didn't and of course I was glad we went. Ugh, I just mapped it and it says it was only 2.54 miles, which is NOT as close to 3 as it would be if we were on a base-60 math system like time is. Well, no wonder I felt so good at the end.

I'm having no luck whatsoever getting this house into any kind of organized condition. I looooved it in here when we had the house on the market and there wasn't a trace of clutter anywhere. Now I feel like we need some serious clutter chemotherapy -- I want to burn the clutter out of here. Since I can't seem to pull together a scrap of motivation during naptime, I'm just going to have to pull an all-nighter one of these days. I might be tired the day following, but I bet I'd get a TON done.

OK, a couple other business items:

1. I really want to acquire a piano. It has to be small, though, because our living room is ridiculous in its Lilliputianism. And it has to have reasonably decent sound, or Jean won't play it (and she'll be the primary player for the next few years until the kids start lessons).

2. I really want to lose our love seat. It is too giant to move anywhere else in the house, and it's really too big for our living room. If I had my druthers, we'd replace both the couch AND love seat. They were purchased probably about 6 years ago from Wickes. They are some La-z-boy brand, I think, and they are exceedingly comfortable. The problem? The love seat spent a couple months in the garage last year, and it sort of had a mouse family living in it for a while. The mice were quickly evicted, but not before they chewed a teeny spot on the front of the love seat. So I feel like we can't actually sell it for more than a few bucks.

I dunno, what should I do? I've threatened to take a crowbar and pry the giant arms off both the couch and love seat, to reclaim the 48 cubic feet of space the arms alone occupy. 

Beans and stuff

I held on to my patience *almost* until naptime today, which is better than usual for an ECFE day, and now it IS naptime and the bickering has ceased and the sun is shining. Hooray!

This story is tearing me apart today. Thank the Lord for the healthy children in your life.

Nikki, I made a special trip into the recycling volcano to retrieve the can. And here are the beans:

That would be "Kuner's of Colorado" brand -- often available in the Ethnic Food aisle at Rainbow and probably Cub as well?

And that's Lucy in the background, checking to see whether Baby Will finished his PBJ at lunch today.

And a couple extra pics for you:

A brief afternoon visit last Friday from the Witt-Vanorny twins. Ed really wanted to "carry" Dash.

The sad panda himself in his new bed. Too much "Polar 'Spress," methinks.

Bathtime hijinks. "I sit a potty!"

I'm silly too! Take a picture of ME! Notice ME! Love ME!

Joel snowblowing ON APRIL 1. I'm posting this now because it's supposed to snow enough to accumulate again tomorrow. Horrible, evil, no-good, very-bad weather!! Well at least I'm pretty sure Prince never sang "Sometimes It Even Snows In May." Egads!

And now for my so-good-it-brings-me-to-tears lunchtime favorite:

Curry Chicken Salad

This is one of those sub-and-try-anything recipes -- because I have different stuff on hand at all times. You could easily sub regular onion for the green, and/or celery for the green pepper. I think I may have added shredded coconut once, too. This recipe is truly suspiciously similar to the Bombay Dip I make for special occasions -- but I love this particular combo of flavors. Joel and the kids won't touch it, of course, so it's MINE ALL MINE.

- 1 cup or so cooked (and cut-up or shredded) chicken

- 1/2 bunch small-diced green onions (both green and white parts -- I thought adding that line was redundant but then I started hearing of people using ONLY one part or the other and I of course find that terribly wasteful and silly but what the heck, it takes all kinds)

- 1/2 green pepper, diced

- 1/2 jar mango chutney (I tend to use Major Grey's which is NOT a brand, as you might think, but apparently a "style" of mango chutney. Whatevs. Mango chutney keeps forever in the fridger so you can keep the other half of the jar to make it again when the craving hits.)

- 1/4 c. craisins (or golden raisins, or halved grapes are really yummy)

- 1/4 c. slivered almonds (or chopped walnuts or pecans)

- 1 or 2 tsp. curry powder

- mayonnaise and/or sour cream to make it all stick together

Stir it all up in a bowl and then glob on a piece of toasted bread. Or eat it with a spoon and lick the bowl. Mmmmmm.

Now if only I could wrap my brain around the definition of "credulous"...

Well, I'll be honest: I'm in no mood whatsoever to post. I'm feeling a *little* less boogery, but Ed's coughing in his sleep in the next room and it is the SADDEST little cough ever. Poor little dude. Joel went to go try to find the humidifier to keep Ed's pathetic little lungs moistened.

Today was my last Tuesday-after-school-theatre class. The kids did an 8-minute medley of totally random Broadway tunes. The kids did VERY well. They all sang and danced the whole time and each one had a line to say. Poor Clara was the only one who totally flubbed her line ... by saying someone else's. I'm sure nobody noticed but me. We had a little reception afterward and the parents and grandparents who came were exceedingly gracious and sweet. It is HILARIOUS to meet little kids' parents and discover *exactly* where they get their smiles, their laughs, their myopia, and/or their eclectic sense of style.

Before the performance I held an abbreviated class with the kids and asked them to say something they liked and something they didn't like about the class. Now, I take this with a huge grain of salt, because they are kids (and sensitive theatrey kids at that) but not one could bring themselves to say anything they didn't like about class! That made me feel happy but also like maybe I was some creepy Stepford teacher who'd inadvertently threatened to pull out their toenails if they dared criticize my methods, or something.

Anyway, the class (and performance!) were lovely, and I am also glad it's over. Onward.

Misheard around my house this evening:

Joel (reading Ed's horoscope): "... make the most of an opportunity. Tonight: A plate."

Me (staring at Joel as though he were the author of this bizarre and cryptic chinaware prediction): "A PLATE?!?!?"

Joel (clarifying): "UP LATE."

Me: Ohhhhh.

Lucy (watching American Idol with me): "Mommy what's his name?"

Me: "David Archuleta."

Lucy (incredulous): "David ENCHILADA!?!?"

I made my mom's spaghetti sauce "recipe" (I use that term lightly) the other night and it was wonderful, as usual.

Mom's Homemade Spaghetti Sauce

Brown 1 lb. Italian sausage in a pan, along with:

Diced onions

Diced green pepper (if available)

Drain or blot grease, or whatever.

Add one 28-oz. can crushed tomatoes, or I used a can of whole tomatoes and had Lucy hand-crush them for me. Funnest thing ever, as long as you have reddish countertops.

Add one 14-oz can diced tomatoes (I just used more wholes).

One small can tomato paste.

Garlic, oregano, basil, rosemary, parsley, bay leaf -- all to taste. (Mom hates rosemary; I hate parsley; and I think bay leaves are a scam but I still use them.)

I also added a teaspoon of sugar (ostensibly to cut the tomatoes' acid).

Add some water if the sauce looks like it's too thick for your personal tastes (Joel and I like super-thick sauce). I actually also tossed in maybe a cup of bell-pepper puree that I had in the freezer.

I serve with whole-wheat noodles because I think the Ronzoni ones are REALLY good, and I'm on a crazy whole-grain kick.

I also made garlic-cheese bread (butter, minced garlic, and colby-jack plus parmesan, all on sourdough) in the broiler, and I managed not to burn it. Yesss!

Tonight was leftobers (according to Lucy). I had the leftober Archuletas. Mmmm!

Jumping into Monday

We'll see how this goes: my time today will be limited.

We had a lovely weekend: on Saturday the weather was perfect and beautiful and Jean ran almost 16 miles and I rollerbladed next to her. We were SO exhausted when we were done, but it was that really good exhausted, where you feel like you've really earned the Potbelly sandwiches and malts we got afterward.

When I got home, Joel grilled up some cheeseburgers for us while the kids played in the yard and I sat in my new doorway with my feet dangling into the backyard. It felt great.

And what felt even greater was the downpour we had on Sunday, when we didn't feel bad at all for spending much of the day slouching around and watching TV and baking banana bread.

Except I've got this NASTY cold, like I haven't had in years. It's rotten, and I continue to be astounded by the sheer quantity of snot one human nose can produce. Icko.

Despite that, my first dance class last night went swimmingly! I had 12 or 13 "students" including Joel, Julie, and Jamie, about eight Ashland kids, and one of their moms. I am hoping for MORE MOMS (and/or dads!) to show, and I am hoping my nervousness will abate with each class.

The class will continue this Sunday night, April 13, 7-8:30 PM, at the MCC. I can't wait!

I made my mom's enchiladas last night, to raves from the crowd. It's a great recipe because, through it, you learn to make your own cream-of-chicken "soup" which is, I promise you, your back-pocket token to whatever you want. It's also great because it tastes really, really good and has tons of variations.

Mom Ryan's Enchiladas

Cook up a few chicken breasts and then shred or cut into bite-size pieces.

Cook up some onions, and/or green peppers, and/or leave them raw. (This time I just used raw, chopped green onions.)

Spray or otherwise grease up a rectangular casserole dish.

Lay a bunch of tortillas flat on a work surface. I might use about 7 or 8 tortillas, but it depends on the size of you pan and the size of your tortillas. I have JUST started finding whole-wheat tortillas at Rainbow and I highly recommend them.

In each tortilla, in a line down the middle, place:

- About 1/4 c. cooked chicken

- Some of the onion/green pepper mixture

- Some shredded monterey jack, colby, or cheddar cheese (swiss would also probably be delicious)

- Some canned black beans (these are not part of Mom's original recipe but I really like the ones that are packaged with jalapeño peppers and a bit of lime. Yumm!!)

(I have also added, on various occasions: shredded carrots or zucchini, diced tomatoes, some prepared salsa, chopped avocados -- whatever!)

Roll up each tortilla and lay 'em all snug up against each other in a nice row in the greased casserole dish.

In a sauce pan, melt 1/4 c. butter. (What I did this time was cook the onions and green pepper in this butter for about 10 mintes, and then carry on from here:) Sprinkle with 1/4 c. flour. Whisk and stir over low heat for a few minutes. Slowly add 2 c. chicken broth (I just did 2 c. water with 2 tsp chicken bouillon) and cook over medium heat until thick. (At this point in the recipe Mom says you can also add in some chopped green peppers and/or jalapeño peppers.)

Take the pan off the heat and stir in:

- 1 c. sour cream or plain yogurt (at this point, if you haven't added any of the vegetables, you have officially created your own cream-of-chicken soup, thereby liberating yourself from Campbell's forever! Viva la revolución!)

- 1 can diced green chilies

Pour this soupy stuff over the rolled tortillas in the pan. Bake at 375 about 20 minutes, then throw some more shredded cheese on the top and bake 5 minutes more. So yummy!

The Wild Bunch

To see the rest of the photo session, click on the link in the post below. And let me know what you think!

New pictures! And asparagus!

Our recent family photo session with Pat Watson!

http://www.flickr.com/gp/69104349@N00/i21803

Cream of Asparagus Soup

In a big stockpot, cook:

3 Tb. butter

3 Tb. olive oil

A little over 1# fresh asparagus (snap off the tough ends, and chop coarsely)

1 large onion, chopped

3-4 stalks celery, chopped

1/2 tsp salt (the coarser the better)

Cook over medium heat, about 10 minutes or until vegetables are tender and onions are very translucent.

Sprinkle 6 Tb. flour into pot, reduce heat to low, and cook, stirring, 5-8 minutes more.

Stirring constantly, add:

2 c. chicken broth

2 c. milk

Cook 8-10 minutes more. Keep stirring. Remove from heat; allow to cool a little.

In batches, puree in a blender. OR use an immersion blender. OR keep it chunky, if that's how you like it.

Reheat, adding in a couple sprinkles of:

nutmeg

cayenne pepper

black pepper

Just before serving, stir in

1/4-1/2 c. sour cream OR half-and-half

Serve with shredded cheddar cheese on top. And maybe some crusty bread for dunking.

That rascal Puff

So I'm reading some inane parenting article and the mom writing it quotes one single blasted line from "Puff, the Magic Dragon" and I can't stop the tears.

A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys...

Argh! Gets me every dang time. *SOB!*

I should have it tattooed on my wrist, though, for the dual purpose of 1. making me remember to cling tightly to every day with my kids, and 2. maybe desensitizing that song for me so I don't burst into tears at a mere nine-word string.

*wiping eyes*

Blasted Peter Yarrow.

I sorta aftergott to mention that Ed went in for his 2-year checkup today. He weighs exactly 30 # (75th %) but is, like, 37" tall (which the doc said is "just off the charts"). The doc I'm sure is a very nice lady, but she is a dreadful pediatrician. I feel really terrible for her. She is really, really bad with children. Shockingly so. Easygoing Ed's screams and writhings, which persisted through the entire (blessedly brief) could have been totally avoided with a teensy bit of meet-n-greet and gentle explanation from the doctor.

I made Extra Treaty Parfaits for snack today: plain yogurt (because I read the label of the Yoplait cups I'd been feeding my children and was appalled at the amount of sugar in a 6-oz. cup. Seriously. I think we as moms (and just as people! Who eat!) need to pay WAY more attention to added sweetener in foods. I'm sure my mom is rolling her eyes because she's known this for 30 years, but honestly it is really terrible. I almost couldn't find but one or two kinds of cereal that don't have sugar as the first or second ingredient. And anything that qualifies as "snack food" -- like those NutriGrain bars with the jelly in the middle, that you think might be healthy because they're "made with real fruit" and because they say "Nutri" and, for petey's sakes, "GRAIN" in the title? -- gobs and gobs of sugar. And now back to my parfaits...), cut-up strawberries, and vanilla-almond granola.

Lucy was giving me that look that said "this is the BEST FOOD EVER; why have you withheld it for so long?!" and Ed ate the whole thing in his peculiar, pincer-graspy, can't-decide-whichhanded-I-am kinda way.

For lunch I made quesadillas with whole-wheat tortillas, full-fat cheddar, 1/2 cup pureed sweet potato (it's REALLY delicious with the cheese), 1/2 can diced chilis, about 1/8 c. leftover taco-meat-and-beans, some chopped onions, and some spinach. Surprise surprise, I was the only one who ate it.

Here's what I made for dinner tonight. Warnings/Disclaimers: 1. It's not for the faint of kitchen (labor-intensive and an interesting ingredient mix). 2. I think it's healthy? -ish? 3. The cooking time can vary wildly.

Chicken Saltimboofer

Pound boneless chicken breasts or thighs until pretty darn thin, like, 1/4"? I think mine were more like 1/2". I was lazy. The thinner, the better. Lay in rows, like juicy little bald babies in a nursery.

Cook a small/med diced onion in a pan with some olive oil, about 8 minutes. Add about 10-16 oz. fresh spinach leaves to the pan. Turn heat to low. Toss just until spinach is wilted all the way through.

In a small bowl, beat 2 eggs. Add 1/2 c. Parmesan. Add 1/4 - 1/2 c. EACH of flaxseed meal and wheat germ. (Or sub the granolaey stuff with bread crumbs, but then add some extra shredded mozzarella, provolone, or swiss or something.)

Take some turkey bacon out of the package and lay one piece (cut for length) atop each chicken piece.

Lay some of the spinach mixture atop the bacon.

Spoon some of the egg/bread/cheese mixture atop the spinach.

Roll up each little baby, starting with the pointy end. Secure with toothpicks.

Lay the babies in a greased casserole dish or other oven-safe pan -- try to keep the bulk of the chicken facing up. Salt, pepper, and bake at 350 for (now here's where I went wrong) 25-45 minutes. If you're a tightroller they will take longer. You could also microwave 'em to cook 'em up.

I served these with rice, and oranges on the side. And Joel and I had some vanilla pudding with mini chocolate chips for dessert. And I also stole a Peep.

Take my dance class... please!

Hello my darlings!

I had an article published in the Dayton's Bluff District Forum newspaper! Here is a link to the online version. It's probably not the best thing I've ever written. I mean, I hope it's not. But it's the first thing I've had "published" -- unless you count various email newsletters from Consumers Digest, or the other marketing pieces I've written. Which I don't.

I have some Actual Video I would like to put here for you to watch. But I can't figure out how to get it off the tape in the camera, and into my computer. So you will have to wait while I order a new camcorder manual from Sony.

Monday night I made superboring chicken breasts marinated in some weird soy sauce/olive oil/honey/garlic/black pepper mixture and I George Foremaned them and served it with steamed peas and halved acorn squashies with brown sugar, butter, and walnuts inside. I was the only one who ate the squash -- my mom used to make it that way when I was a kid and it brought back delicious memories, but I didn't expect anyone else to enjoy it at all.

Italian Rice Stir-Fry

(This has been a long time coming; sorry. This is an old Leslie Ryan family staple.)

1 lb. Italian sausage: cook and drain/blot grease.

Add to pan and cook until tender (about 8-10 minutes):

1 chopped green pepper

1 chopped large onion

1 minced garlic clove

Remove to a bowl on the side.

Add to pan:

1 Tb. butter

1 c. uncooked rice

Cook about 4 minutes, until rice is golden.

Drain into glass bowl (reserving juice):

1 (14.5-oz) can diced tomatoes

Add water to the juice in the bowl to make 2.5 cups liquid. Pour that liquid into the pan with the rice and butter. Add:

1 Tb. red wine vinegar

1/2 tsp. oregano

Heat to boil; low to simmer. Cover and simmer 20 minutes (40 for brown rice). Mix side bowl (meat, veggies) into pan. Re-cover and heat on low, about 5 minutes. Garnish with parmesan cheese.

Also! I am teaching a DANCE CLASS. This is going to be super-fun and if you are at all intrigued by the thought of learning some jazzy dance moves, breaking a sweat, and trying something new, you should come!

WHO: Anybody age 14 and up; taught by me! (And sometimes Rob Sutherland!)

WHAT: "Broadway Jazz" dance class

WHEN: Every Sunday, 7-8:30 PM

WHERE: In the theatre at the Maplewood Community Center, 2100 White Bear Ave N.

WHY: Because I've had heaps of requests from the kids I've been working with (as well as their parents!) for some extra dance classes. For fun!

HOW: Show up at the MCC (free parking!). Class is $10 each week (checks payable to me). Just drop in -- no registration!

You'll get out of the class what you put into it -- and I'll tailor the class to the skill level of whomever shows up that week. Beginning dancers are just as welcome as those with more experience. I'll use dance terms, but the class will not be too terribly technical. We'll start with an aerobic stretching warmup (which will be very similar week-to-week), then do some across-the-floor work, then learn a short dance combination (which will probably be new every week). You should come!

The wait is OVER!

IT'S BASEBALL SEASON!!!

I am SO EXCITED. I know it snowed, like, 8 inches today. But BASEBALL IS BACK. It was a long, cold, difficult offseason and we're going to be terrible, but as of this moment Carlos Gomez is on pace to steal 326 bases, Joe Nathan (who still looks like Count Chocula) is going to save 163 games, and the announcers are going to keep confusing Morneau and Mauer.

It was exhilarating, watching the Joe Nathan/Torii Hunter matchup in the 9th. And yes, center field is going to be a big, frightening cavern for several months at best. But that new Harris guy sure looks dashing in a batting helmet. And life is good.

We had a great trip to Chicago this weekend -- We drove down with Cara and Alley Joel, and it was our first trip down with the kids' DVD player. Which, hello, is a total miracle -- but so much so that I really don't feel right using it the Whole Trip. I think we'll TRY to save it for the last couple hours on future trips. It just doesn't feel right tucking the kids into the wayway back and ignoring them for six hours. Plus the stimulation keeps them from dropping off into naps like they normally do.

We hung out with Stulie for a few hours on Friday -- it's always wonderful to catch up with those two... I mean four! Their twins are gorgeous and they seem like a very happy quartet. Even despite Stu's Captain Kangaroo haircut.

On Saturday we drove down to Palos ("PAY-los," not "PAH-los") Heights to watch Ellen play some volleyball. I ran into Lori Cozzens, a gal I played vball with in high school. There was a Big Ten vball tourney going on at the same time and believe you me those girls are MASSIVE. The Northern Iowa team, I swear, didn't have a single girl under six feet. Their crotches were at my armpits. I have no clue where they buy pants.

It was super fun to see Ellen play. They only had six players so she wasn't Labarroing (I have no idea how to spell that) but that meant we got to see her hit and set a little.

At the wedding, we got a chance to catch up with MANY of the old Winona gang, which was especially timely  since WSU won the D2 national men's bball tourney on Saturday afternoon. The wedding itself was held at Holy Family Church just outside the Loop. My dad's father's parents were married there, probably close to 100 years ago, and the church was celebrating its 150th anniversary (coincidentally, Winona State is also celebrating its 150th this year). The reception was in a fabulous space right next door to the Sears Tower. AND... they had Irish dancers! I really feel VERY STRONGLY about Irish dancers, especially after about 4 Absolut-Mandarin-and-cranberry-juices. I nearly wept.

Ellen and Eric crashed the reception a little later, and we danced like dang fools before sprinting back to the hotel with the Christophersons. In the morning we got up, found coffee and donuts, and watched part of the Shamrock Shuffle. I did NOT see my relatives (sorry guys!) and we shortly realized that the Shuffle was running AROUND our hotel and there was no way we were going to get out of the Loop for a while. Eventually we found our way up to Lincoln Park and met El and Eric at our favorite crepe place, before trucking back to RM and then all the way back up north.

We were all pretty tired this morning AND it's Monday which never bodes well for my sanity (for some reason the transitions to and from Lucy's dance class, with 3 kids, is tantamount to dragging three starving, angry, reluctant 30-lb squirrels to and from dance class. Plus Ed had a 9:30 appointment at the U for a Child Development study, plus it was legitimately blizzarding this morning, plus Baby Will has a nasty cold, so Joel took the morning off to give me a hand. So, bonus points to him!

At Ed's study, the researchers played with him for a while and then took him to a room where they showed him objects and then had him pick them up and drop them down a chute. He loved it and enthusiastically dropped everything down the chute. The point of it was to see what happened when the researcher gave something an incorrect name (like, they gave him a frog and called it a pig). I'm not really sure what they could get from Ed -- I noticed him correcting them ("No pig! Frog!") but that was about it.

The whole way driving to the U, Ed sat in his car seat singing "How does she KNOOOOOOW you WUUUUV her?" over and over and over. So adorable. Remind me to try to catch it on video.

Lucy had her first swim class tonight, at the MCC, along with the Watsonboys. She and the boys were delighted and we had to drag all three of them out of the pool when it was time to go home.

Oh, also, I signed up for a 10k run at the end of April. Ugh, I must be losing my mind.

That's how you know

... he's your loooooove!

So I'm totally enraptured by the 2 main songs from Enchanted: "That's How You Know" and "Happy Little Working Song." They delight me to no end.

Anyway! I guess that's about it. I made tuna salad for lunch yesterday, and the kids loathed it with surprising ferocity, but I thought it was delicious.

Tuna Salad

Mix all together:

 -  2 small cans chunk light tuna (drained)

 -  2 carrots, peeled and shredded

 -  1/4 of a large onion, finely chopped

 -  1/2 - 3/4 c. light mayonnaise

 -  a big squirt of mustard (I used "Mustard Girl'''s "Stoneground Deli" mustard, which is absolutely fabulous mustard and could be eaten with a spoon; it's that good.

 -  scant 1/4 c. diced mild jalapeno peppers or pepperoncini (optional, but they give it a very small, very nice kick). Or finely diced green pepper, or pickle relish.

I served it on toast with spinach lining. Yum!

Lucy is obsessed with this "Jesus is Risen" DVD she got for Easter. I cannot explain it; I've watched it with her twice and she's on her second viewing today. It's not musical. There are no dancing princesses. *shrug* Hallelujah!

Clean-Plate Club

So Joel and I were at Easter dinner at the Petersons' home, which was lovely, and I glanced to my left as dinner was wrapping up.
I saw Jeff's uncle Don, and my eyes caught a glint of light off his plate.

Which was clean.

Not just food-all-finished-with-the-expected-remaining-crumbs-of-breading-and-bits-of-meat-gristle-and-blobs-of-Jell-o-that-you-just-can't-pick-up-with-your-fork clean. CLEAN-clean. Licked-clean clean. Bizarrely clean.

I looked at his wife's plate. Same thing.

I looked at my own plate; at the Jell-o clumps and the fatty part of the ham that I refuse to eat because A. I can quite easily cut it off with my fork and knife, and because B. IT'S FAT and therefore GROSS and NOT FOOD. I looked at the smear of sweet potato that I didn't finish because I got kinda full and because I'd already nibbled off all the coconutty-marshmallowy part and I really wasn't interested in the rest of it.

I tried REALLY hard to get the rest of the Jell-o off my plate, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Embarrassed, I sorta stared at my plate, feeling them all JUDGING me for my not-clean plate.

So I brought it up to Joel later, because it was REALLY BUGGING me. How did their plates get so ridiculously CLEAN??!? I asked. It's not NORMAL!! I said to Joel. Short of LICKING the plate, there is no way they used the provided utensils to squeegee their plates. HOW DID THEY DO IT I MUST KNOW!!

Well Joel was quick to point out that rolls had been passed and perhaps they used part of a roll to sop up EVERYTHING on their plates?

To which I said, ohhhh, of course that's what they did, I'm an idiot. I'm sure they're real proud of their ability to consume every molecule of food product that they helped themselves to.

Eeeeeek, though, it's so WRONG and goes against every fiber of my being. I mean, A) Jell-o is not good on bread. B) Neither are sweet potatoes. C) NEITHER IS HAM-GRISTLE. I just can't fathom eating ham-gristle.


Dinner tonight was Joelly-style, Meggo-inspired scrambled eggs with spinach and diced ham, wrapped in whole-wheat tortillas with cheddar. Mmmmm, they were soooo good, and not just because I didn't have to cook them myself. Well, maybe a lot because of that.


My sister Ellen asked for the White Bean Chicken Chili recipe from last week, so here it is:

White Bean Chicken Chili

Cook in a large pot, then remove:
4-5 slices thick bacon (I used turkey bacon this time; not
as good)

Add to pot of grease (siphon off some of the grease if you wish) and
cook about 10 minutes:
4 cloves minced garlic
2 med. onions, chopped
1-2 green peppers, chopped

Meantime, poach 5-6 chicken breasts in 6-8 cups
chicken stock (I always just use boullion) until breasts are cooked
through. Remove (reserving broth) and shred chicken.

Drain and rinse (I usually never actually rinse), then add to cooked
veggies:
4 cans Great Northern beans (I used half white kidney
beans this time).

Add:
1 can diced green chilies
2 tsp. cumin
reserved stock

Add:
reserved cooked chicken
2 c. Monterey Jack cheese
reserved crumbled bacon

It didn't turn out that great this time. I feel like in the past it's been heaven -- I don't know what I did wrong, besides not really cook the veggies long enough. The turkey bacon didn't help, either -- although often I completely omit the bacon, so maybe that's what I ought to have done.

Tomorrow night we're ordering pizza. Sorry, gang.

This song has been rattling around in my brain for, I'd say, at least the last 25 years...

Oh it's been a hard day
But it's gonna be a good night
The Champale's sparklin'
And the music's just right
It's gonna be a good night...

Judging from my internet searches, I'm the only person on this planet who remembers this jingle. I just had to get it out.

Rats, Amanda Overmyer! I'm going to miss you.

Especially since that total stinko Cook girl had to stay. Ugh!

Tuesday night, after a Watson playdate that morning, Lucy was in the bathroom when Joel had to tinkle. Joel, I think, asked for some privacy, and Lucy answered "I like penises!"

Ohhh boy.

Today during dinner, I was trying to get Lucy to taste her pork (recipe to follow) even though she was happily digging into her peas and leftover mac n cheese.

"Mommy," she starts, in her exasperated tone, "I like peas and macaroni and cheese and peadabutter and jellies and grapes and I fink that's enough foods."

Pork Helmets (Mom, is this the recipe called Nipples?)

Heat in a 12" skillet over medium heat:
1 Tb. dark sesame oil

Add to pan:
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper
1 clove minced garlic

Saute 30 seconds, until garlic is fragrant.

Add:
1 lb. thinly sliced pork tenderloin (if yours is thicker, you'll just have
to cook it a couple minutes longer per side)

Cook 4-5 minutes per side, until just cooked through. Avoid the temptation
to overcook! It's really easy to see when the pork is done; take a kitchen
shears and slice into the thickest part to check, if you're unsure. Remember
that the white-meat pieces will cook (and hence dry out) faster than the darker
stuff.

(Sorry, I know this is Cooking 101 for many of you; I'm writing to the
lowest common Jeanometer.)

Anyway! Take the cooked pork out of the pan and keep it warm.

Add to the pan:
3 Tb. water
3 Tb. dry sherry
3 Tb. hoisin sauce (it's like Asian barbecue sauce; it's yummy!)
1.5 Tb. dried cilantro (I think dried cilantro is pretty worthless; I
omitted it this time and subbed about 4 chopped green onions. Some fresh
cilantro might be nice! Or parsley, if you like parsley?)

Cook the sauce over medium heat until slightly thickened, stirring constantly.
Spoon the sauce over the meat -- as Eddie would say, "Ummmm! Meat! A-ricious!"

Fine, upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal American boy

Lucy's watching some totally bizarre 1999 remake of Bye Bye Birdie with Vanessa Williams as Rosie and Jason Alexander as Albert. My friend Trish is cleaning out her massive VHS collection and we are reaping the benefits, being in receipt of never-watched copies of Annie Get Your Gun, Burn the Floor, The Fantasticks, On The Town, and a couple others. It's like Christmas for me! I love stealing choreography from these old shows.

The thermometer on my gazebo says 54. Fifty-four! We might have to eat dinner outside tonight.

I pulled a muscle in my neck/back while shampooing this morning and I am really suffering. Advil didn't even make a dent in the pain. Thanks Mom for my new Dr. Beans neck-roll! I have been reheating it all morning and it's making my life bearable.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! to Alison and Dan on the birth of their new baby girl, Penelope! I had phoned Alison (and I NEVER phone Alison) after ECFE today to see how she was doing now that she's past her due date (and also to ask for her midwife's info for a friend of a friend), and lo and behold her husband answered and he sounded a little harried and assumed I'd somehow cosmically heard that they'd had a baby! I didn't ask for any details but it sounded like everyone was doing well. They had planned a homebirth VBAC and it sure sounded like that's what had occurred -- I'm sure they'll post as soon as they're able.

Jane (and Nicole) Watson's Pot Roast recipe
A couple modifications I made: I used a whole package of the onion soup mix (actually, the equivalent thereof -- I homemake onion soup mix in bulk), and I also added maybe 3/4 tsp ground black pepper to the mix.

Jessica Seinfeld's Mac and Cheese 1 recipe
(from Deceptively Delicious)

(I doubled it)

1.5 cups uncooked elbow macaroni -- cook to make about 3 cups.

Cooking spray
1 Tb olive oil
1 Tb flour
1/2 c. skim milk
1/2 c. butternut squash or cauliflower puree
1.5 c. shredded cheddar cheese (It calls for low-fat cheese but I am morally opposed to low-fat cheese)
4 oz. reduced-fat or nonfat cream cheese
1/2 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. paprika (I used cayenne pepper instead)
1/8 tsp. pepper

Coat a large saucepan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat. Add the oil, then the flour, and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture resembles a thick paste but has not browned (1-2 minutes).

Add the milk and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture begins to thicken, 3-4 minutes. Add the vegetable puree, cheddar, cream cheese, and seasonings, and stir until the cheese is melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the macaroni and serve warm.

I have tried SEVERAL mac and cheese recipes and I'm telling you, making the roux at the beginning is the secret to success. The Barefoot Contessa recipe I have (and adore) does the same thing (except with butter, which is why Ina Garten is a goddess).

Out of my way, sports posse!

Here's the haircut.

So for dinner tonight I made Nicole Watson's Pot Roast and Jessica Seinfeld's Mac & Cheese. Both were phenomenally tasty and as soon as I get permission from the former I will post both recipes! (Jessica Seinfeld never returns my calls anymore.) :) :) :)

I forgot to mention earlier that the other morning Joel was leaving for work and just as he walked out the door, Ed shouted: "A careful! A ice!"

Lucy has become obsessively protective about her toys. We had some firemen in the house this evening (our CO2 detector was beeping during dinner, and it says to call 911 so I did! For the first time ever! I was super nervous! And they sent a GIANT fire truck with four completely unattractive fire fighters! And the kids got to sit up in the truck for about half an hour and it was the coolest thing ever! And Ed keeps saying "A fire truck! A fire ENgine!") and the fireman spent the better part of 30 minutes waving his little hand-held CO2 detector around the various levels of our house. When he left, Lucy saw his little detector in his hand and the instant he was out the door, she cried "HE STOLE MY TOY! HE TOOK OUR TOY!!!" And Joel and I quickly calmed her down, reassuring her that it was the fireman's own toy, but she remained suspicious because, as a rule, grownups do not carry small toys around in their hands, Eddie-style, except for cell phones and keys and wallets and iPods and tape measures and really, I can't figure out why she was so confused.

I'm feeling like I'm going to be crashing hard from creative-outlet withdrawal, now that my show's essentially over. I was reading Shauna Niequist's book Cold Tangerines last night -- a really lovely book; I highly recommend it -- and I came across a passage that I swear I have written (not word-for-word or anything, but the concept was identical) in this very blog. It was about how when you work for a living, people occasionally give you compliments and pats on the back, but how when you stay home with the kids, they don't ever thank you for wiping their butts. WAIT! I didn't write it here -- I wrote it as a comment on Michelle's blog. I can't believe I remembered that. Anyway, reading a published author with my same thoughts made me feel very impotent and pathetic because I CRAVE to be an Actual Writer but to do that I would actually have to Write something (or at least, that's what I'm told) and, like, I can't even barely put together a decent household to-do list.

And with nothing to choreograph on the horizon... no dance classes to take, no show to be in... well I guess I'm desperately hoping that two hours of softball a week will fill the void. Maybe.

They were scones!

This morning I made cranberry scones for the parents with whom I sit and wait during Lucy's dance class. I made them mostly because I had such a horrible time getting my three charges out of the building last week that I'd required backup from at least two of them, plus one of their own kids. Yeesh.

The scones were great, and they are soooo easy to make. Not healthy, mind you.

SCONES

Mix in a bowl:
2 c. flour
1/3 c. sugar

1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. baking soda

Now take one stick of frozen butter. Grate it, using the large holes of a grater, into the bowl with the dry ingredients. Mix (lightly; toss, don't mash) this all up with your hands until it looks like very coarse cornmeal.

Stir in 1/2 c. raisins or craisins.

In a small, bowl, whisk together:
1/2 c. sour cream (I use light; it seems to make no difference)
1 large egg
And dump that into the bigger bowl. With a fork, stir everything together until large clumps form. Press the mixture against the sides of the bowl until it's kind of one large ball. Place the ball on a lightly-floured surface and pat into an 8" disc. Sprinkle 1 tsp. sugar on top. Cut the disc into eight triangles. Arrange the triangles about 1" apart on a cookie sheet. Bake at 400 for 13-15 minutes, until the edges are barely goldenish.

They were a hit, but I might mention that we did NOT have an easier time getting to the car today. I have no idea what I did wrong. Jean was there to witness; I gave them warnings, I gave Lucy choices, I didn't scream or hit them. It was terrible and embarrassing. *sigh*

I think I aftergott to post Ed's first complete sentence. I asked him what a seal says, and he thought for a second, and said, very slowly:

"A seal says... oooourp oooourp oooourp."

He's not Shakespeare, but he's mine!

Oh, speaking of Ed, he was under the kitchen table this afternoon while Will was eating lunch, and all of a sudden Will started screaming. I couldn't figure out why until I looked down and saw a nice neat row of tooth marks on Will's bare left foot. And Ed, with a big "I'm-a-stinker" smile on his face. Ed had taken a giant bite of Will's foot. My stars and garters! What on EARTH made Ed think that was a good idea!?!

Spaghetti night

Save one "brush-up" rehearsal on Wednesday the 26th, High School Musical is over for me! There are still 3 more shows left, but we'll be in Chicago for Tom Hawbecker's wedding so I will miss them. It makes me really kind of sad -- this was the first whole show I'd choreographed, and what a wonderfully talented and fascinating group of kids! I'm so proud of them and of what we accomplished.

I hope I'll be able to audition for a show sometime before I get too ancient to dance anymore. So much about musical theatre just makes my heart sing. But softball season starts soon, plus I'm going to be nursing butt-bone-bruises from biking next to Jean as she trains for Grandma's on June 21.

We had spaghetti (well, technically rotini -- the kids have an easier time picking rotini up and eating it) for dinner tonight. But here's what I did:

Cooked up 1 lb. italian sausage, along with about a cup of chopped onions and some chopped green pepper.

Drained the meat on paper towels.

Put the meat back in the pot, along with a jar of ready-to-go pasta sauce (I always pick a kind without sugar), a can of diced tomatoes, and a few gobs of dried basil, oregano, bay leaf, garlic, and I even used some rosemary this time.

See, adding in the extra tomatoes makes a bigger batch so I can freeze some of the sauce for later. And it makes it extra vegetably and it feels less processed. I think my mom always makes sauce from scratch and I even think it's really easy, but I tend to have to fret over it more if I go all the way to scratch. When I do it with the jarred sauce, I feel like I'm less likely to goof it up somehow.

I should have had a salad on the side or some garlic bread, but we just chanked on some leftover cut-up fruit, mostly because I forgot to buy lettuce. I really hate lettuce, even though the kids kind of dig on it. We're still trying to eat our way out of the ginormous bags of carrots-celery-broccoli-cauliflower from Ed's birthday last weeked, so that's going to have to step in for salad this week. Joel and I did each get a skimpy glass of Three-Buck Shiraz, so that made it a perfect meal.

Joel's watching August Rush and I decided I couldn't stomach Robin Williams on a Sunday night. Actually, this coming week ought to be cake for me -- it's spring break for Mahtomedi schools so I have no afterschool theatre class and no show choir. What on earth will I do with my time?

I did get a new hair cut last week, but I can't get a photo of myself to save my life. It's real short.

I guess I'm going to bed now. Happy Holy Week!

Never not the best!

Happy Saturday! I wanted to share my recipe for "Yellow Goodness." I found this recipe in an issue of Cooking Light magazine and it seemed like a boring and weird combination but I modified it a little and every single time I make it, I say to myself: BLAZES this is good! Why don't I make this more often?

And Jean says to herself (or to me, if I'm around): This is never not the best food ever.

And Joel, Lucy and Ed don't say anything because they are too busy gorging themselves.

It's so easy. And surprisingly tasty. Try it for yourself and see!

YUMMY YELLOW GOODNESS

- Take 1 cup uncooked rice (I use brown, but any rice will be lovely) and cook it however you would normally cook rice, omitting all salt and fat but adding 1/4 tsp turmeric. It is worth it to buy turmeric just for this recipe; I do.

While the rice is cooking:

Brown 1 lb. italian sausage (you could use turkey sausage); remove from pan and dump on top of a couple paper towels, to absorb excess fat.

Add 4 cups frozen corn and 2 cloves minced garlic to the pan (which should still be "dirty" from cooking the sausage) -- cook over medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring frequently.

Stir in:
cooked rice
cooked sausage
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp black pepper
a couple dashes of salt
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese (I have used "fresh grated" as well as the canned stuff and honestly, it's amazing either way)

Reduce heat to low and cook, stirring constantly, another minute or two until thoroughly heated. Garnish with minced fresh cilantro if desired (I almost always skip that).

And here's my menu for the coming week:

- Ham roast (I'm not sure what, exactly, this is -- Joel's sister Julie gave us a "fresh ham roast" wrapped in butcher paper and I'm just going to cook it and eat it with some mac & cheese and jubbs on the side.)

- Italian Rice Stir Fry (another Jean-proof recipe that's usually a hit with the whole fam)

- Nicole Watson's Pot Roast (I haven't ever made this yet but I have heard great things!)

- White Bean & Chicken Chili (because winter ain't over yet!)