My brain was frozen and filled with snot!!

Back by popular demand, today's Guest Blogger is none other than fan favorite, JG!

I was so excited to find an ultra close spot at the bus stop. Background: My company subsidizes a parking spot monthly which is, say, 9 blocks from work. Okay so like only 4-5 blocks. It's walkable, but a bus pass is included in the parking permit so you don't HAVE to hoof it. Buses leave from the lot every 10-15 minutes in the morning. So my usual routine is to catch a bus in the morning. (The walk is uphill and I can barely stand to think in the morning before my 3rd cup of coffee.) Not to mention, every time I do walk I see the stupid bus pulling up like just as I am arriving at work. So really, why not just catch the bus. I do walk at night, so I don't have to wait for the bus, and then, yes, you guessed it, it's downhill. Easier to keep one's momentum going when one has some additional weight in the fulcrum of one's body, you know?

So, like I mentioned, I found a primo spot in the lot. I believe Meggo and I used to call it porno parking. Since we have kids now I think we have taken that out of our vernacular. Prolly not though. Noting that the bus is ready to leave, I hop out of the car, grab my workout bag, and jump on the bus. I pull out my cell phone to play with the buttons so I know how to shut off the ringer... see if there are any games... just get used to how the blasted contraption works. I mean really, I don't need to take pictures, make a meal, or complete a masters degree online with it. I just need to be able to call someone and answer it when it rings. On the bus I start a conversation with a guy who was recently in the news, quite an interesting story, I'll tell ya sometime. Then I arrive at work to realize gangnabbit I left my keys on the bus; they must have fallen out when I was playing with my stupid cell phone. Well there's nothing really one can do when that happens on the bus and we had our all company meeting to get to. So I started that trek of lemmings down to the meeting room with our good friends Carol and Patrick Daly.

Meeting over. I stopped by at the bus office in the skyway to get info as to what one does when they leave something on the bus. Call lost and found tomorrow, is the answer I get -- I knew that one. It's now 11:45ish and I'm working up the gumption to call Meggo to let her know and logistically it's not a big problem; I can catch a bus home at night and back to work in the morning, but just in case I'll walk on down there to make sure: A. I didn't leave the keys in the car; B. I didn't drop them in the transition from the car tothe bus; and C. Verify the car is still there. I bundled up and walked down. Half way I realize I didn't grab my cellphone. Smart Joel real smart. I mean, insert Meg's voice here: "What do you have a cell phone for ANYWAY!" I turn the corner to where I can see the parking lot and the cars all lined up. Terror dripping from my brow. I'm straining to just get a glimpse of the little car and not seeing anything. Scanning the row back and forth hoping that it's just hiding behind the Bonneville. Nope. Getting closer well maybe it's beside the Seabreeze. (A shout out to Bridget Fors old baby the Sebring.) Oh wait I see my bumper. WHAT THE HELL, there's exhaust coming from the tailpipe. You have got to be kidding me. Sure as my vacant expression. I did something I have never done before. I left the car running with the doors locked for 4 and a half hours. No cell phone. IDIOT!! I caught the bus back to work, called Meggo who I knew was at book readings (ed. note: it's actually called "story time") with the kids. Well my valentine came to my rescue. I walked on down there again to visit and grab my keys and see the family. Eddie fast asleep, Lucy clutching her red balloon and new "Philadelphia Chickens" CD Meggo purchased for her and the funniest little expression on Meggo. One that says, you will never live this one down. Needless to say Meggo now has, in the immortal words of Paula Abdul, her back pocket token for whatever she wants. What can I say, my brain was frozen and full of snot.