Songs From The Year Of The Contestants' Respective Births!
(So Joel got the VCR working! He pulled it out from Godknowswhere in the basement, found a cord, and hooked it up to the TV in our bedroom, which hasn't been using a converter box (yet) because A. it's on a rabbit-ears antenna, when the converter boxes work way better with a roof antenna, and 2. Joel's the only one who watches TV in the bedroom so I'm sorta hoping when the digital conversion is complete and that TV suddenly doesn't work, I'll have a few nights of peaceful drifting-off-to-sleep without the horrid noises of Family Guy in my ears. Until Joel figures out how to hook that TV up to the roof antenna -- which, I'm sure, as long as nightly Family Guy-viewing is in Jeopardy, will magically happen in mere minutes. Regardless, he totally wins Husband of the Year for taping AI for me. AND putting the kids to bed AND cleaning up the kitchen. What a sweet man.)
Randy Jackson was a soupy-cuters baby! The rest of them -- not so much. Who IS this Kara DioGuardi, anyway? She is just perfect for this job: nice to look at, always has something intelligent to say. Kudos to the HR department of American Idol, I tell you what.
So here we go!
It sorta sounded like they were going to do the contestants in descending order of age, but then someone must've realized that meant we'd be stuck with three 1985 songs in a row. It turns out there is a LOT of bad music from the '80s, much of it sung here tonight!
This ended up being a very bizarre night for me as a viewer, as you will see when you get to my final rankings. I *really* tried to take each performance on its own merit, and this week I stuck to my guns despite being contradicted by the judges at nearly every turn. In fact, maybe I should get that out of the way:
Best to worst:
Danny -- 1980 -- Stand By Me
OK I did agree with the judges here -- the arrangement was atrocious. I hated the disco beat and also the harmonies. And some of his notes were bad in the beginning. He sounded like a little kid in the beginning. I kind of hated the whole thing. When I first heard the Mamma Mia! soundtrack, I realized that I didn't even like ABBA all that much, but I really didn't want anyone else singing their songs. And apparently I also feel that way about this song (though when I saw the Mamma Mia! movie, I totally changed my mind but that is beside the point here). A bad way to start.
(Side note: I cannot WAIT to see this show "Glee"!!!)
Kris Allen -- 1985 -- All She Wants To Do Is Dance
UGH! Don't like this song either! Thank goodness Kris is as darling as a recently-birthed puppydog, with that twitchy upper lip and everything. I actually liked his rendition. A little.
Lil Rounds -- 1984 -- What's Love Got To Do With It?
And this is where I get confused. Surely Adam is older than these kids? Huh. Anyway, Lil's first note was bad, and it didn't get any better. She lacks Tina's pipes and gams. She's oversinging the whole blasted thing. The judges are harsh but they are right.
Anoop -- 1986 -- True Colors
What is it about Indians? I just adore them. Could Anoop's 'rents be any cuter? Hey Anoop, Sharpay Evans called -- she wants her pink microphone back! Ohh, apparently it's just the lights. ANOTHER heavy-handed arrangement, but not bad at all.
Scott -- 1985 -- The Search is Over
So I guess we're NOT going in chronological order. I might be the only person in America to feel this way, but I LOVED THIS PERFORMANCE. Seriously loved it. Joel mentioned some bad notes but I didn't hear 'em. I liked the mascara. I suppose it's no surprise that I *heart* a big, belty song, but I did. As Kara and Paula were talking, I hollered at the TV: Don't listen to 'em, Scott! and Joel shushed me for being too noisy. I do agree that the electric guitar was very weird.
Allison -- 1992 -- I Can't Make You Love Me
It's weird hearing a 16-year-old singing "turn down the bed." Especially when I realize she is technically young enough to be my child. And... Allison, really, again with the punk look? But the song was solid and the judges are right-on about her needing more personality when she's not performing.
I've never seen an X-Men movie, never wanted to (unless our waiter from Embers back in 1995 happened to fulfill his lifelong dream of getting himself cast, which I'm pretty sure he never did) -- but I would totally pay $9 to see this "Wolverine." Sign. Me. Up.
Matt -- 1985 -- Part-time Lover
I just don't GET the '80s. This SONG! Gaaaaah!! Matt's rendition might have been good, but I just couldn't focus on it. Possibly because Joel was shimmying between me and the TV the whole time. I even rewound it and still couldn't get into it. Sorry Matt.
Adam -- 1982 -- Mad World
I thought this was a song from the '70s -- it has that psychedelic feel, doesn't it? I do not think it is AT ALL fair that Adam doesn't get to hear from all the judges. I mean, honestly -- the judges' opinions sway ME and I'm, like, made of iron! I really appreciate the judges' perspective and besides, even a standing-O from Simon might not be enough to get the votes tossed Adam's way. I'm very concerned about this and am considering writing a strongly-worded letter. What I SHOULD do is vote, but I'm totally not going to stoop to that level again. Jean, do you remember -- was Bo Bice the last time we voted?
Joel made sure I knew that he caught Adam's nearly-off note at the very end. Then, from the replay, it looks like he didn't sing it that way in rehearsal!?!? Inconceivable. I am impressed with Joel's musical ear and I also want to point out that he has been heard plunking around on the piano a little here and there. Soupey-cuters.